Diswomansworld

With your eyes open, your mouth closed, your ears attentive and your heart reflective - welcome to this woman's world!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

She found me



Behind the door of my mother's toilet
under the eye of Durban's starlight
in silent corners and thick cotton covers
from windy words and pouring tears

She found me

Inside the thoughts of a poetic teen
in world war moments of a dramatic queen
through daydreams and wishful thinking
for solid love past sordid course
Poetry found me

And saved my life!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Love Life

I’ve seen the eyes of hope in the last hour of sorrow
I’ve heard the sound of life in the last breath of death
And my mind suddenly understood what eternity means
When pain comes uninvited in hearts graced with fear

But as surely as death awaits all
Love lives past histories of failed attempts
Even passed issues of pain attacks
And catches us in that moment
When we assume all doors are locked

Yet if we live to see the days to come
Of what value would our last breath of death be
Or our last hour of sorrow
Cos if we’ve never loved then we’ve never lived!

-MaZungu

So I blog!

There are times when you feel the heavy burden of an untold truth and you wanna grab a pen and just write it out. Except it does not want to be “ just written out’ so you sit, walk and talk with the heavy presence of something you just cannot write out!

Wish I could open the floods of my spirit to let the truth ooze out of me in every openness I carry. Wish I could stop counting the buts, stop fixing the broken, stop trying...stop stop stop

THERE'S NOT A FORCE ON EARTH, HEAVEN OR UNDER THAT CAN BLOCK THE PATH OF TRUTH!

So how can I?

IT IS WHEN TRUTH ARRIVES THAT WE MEET THE FINE FACE OF FREEDOM AND TASTE THE BITTER-SWEETNESS OF TEARS THAT EVERY SOUL RELEASES JUST BEFORE DEATH.

So I blog!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Earthling

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine - My Earthling. Our friendship is as unique as the souls that keep it together, our union is as necessary as the honesty that holds it firm and our commitment is as strong as the affection that flames it to life. We are friends.

She re-writes my book on friendships, she reminds me of why I am so fascinated by humanity. She is a friend of mine. The poem EARTHLING was inspired by our friendship - and to this day, every line, every word is a true reflexion and a true expression of all that we call our friendship - our Earthling. She takes me away and brings me right back to a place where living becomes a blessing. She raises my hopes and erases my worries because when I am with her, I am with purpose, I am with hope, I am with every possibility that living brings to those that are alive.

Her face I do not know but her friendship is inscribed in the patterns of my palm. Her voice is coded in the waves of my hearing. Her presence is dined in the comfort of my heart.

To visit her world, I never have to leave mines out. To give her comfort, I never trade my own. She applause my prosperity as she reproves my impurities. She is honest as she is caring, she is opened even when she intends to be closed. Into her house of heart, I have travelled so freely that the corners of her discomfort have become ordinary to my eyes. Yet the beauty of her friendship still remains my favourite site. She is my friend and I, her friend.

We dwell in the comfort of our friendship and so we call it EARTHLING!

To her, I dedicate this poem:

Earthling

Take me through the waves of life
Teaching me what you have learnt
As you learn what I teach
And we will both expand into the fullness of this friendship
Sharing the comfort of companionship

Play me a song with sweet notes of honesty
So we can dance under the sun in pure majesty
Letting the pains of our past escape naturally
As we bare our truth explicitly

Because it is in your comfort that I find goodness
And in my goodness, that you find comfort

So arouse my curiosity with layers of your personality
And I will melt your attention with my poetic confessions
Giving birth to earthling – our new friendship

By: Zama “MaZungu” Zungu
August 2005

Carry me


Carry me in your hopes for tomorrow
So I can leave my fears behind
Carry me in the arms of your courage
And keep me from evil’s bind
Because the only way for me to last
,Is to divorce my soul from my past.

So carry me and promise me nothing’
And I will never accuse you of anything
Just as long as you carry me home.

Zama “MaZungu” Zungu
15 September 05
Let everything we do carry us back home, back to our souls where all living and loving begins.

Poetry

I started writing Poetry because I could. I could express my thoughts, the convoy of my experience into artistry and so I did. But when you turn 21 and life looks back at you with questions and expectations in her eyes, the purpose of living or doing what you do becomes one of those questions and so life asked me…

What is my purpose for writing?

I write and will continue to write until the words that come out of me begin as a flame that burns my soul back into life. Until that poetic flame burns my tongue into speaking, my mind into thinking, my heart into feeling and my soul into living.
I wanna write poetry that leaves footprints in its trail, poetry that exposes and expands my spirit every time it travels me. I wanna write poetry that reminds me of all that I have forgotten, poetry that reminds me that I am fearful and wonderfully made – that I have everything inside of me (not just to get by but) to live. Poetry that reminds me that in every scar, from every vain through every pore – I am enough. I need to write poetry that leads me back to my source of life, my source of living, my soul. Let me give life to poetry that will give life to me, that will question and answer every-and-anything. Poetry that builds, reconstructs and revives – because if Poetry is not a luxury (in the words of Audre Lorde) than by God let it be a necessity – otherwise what is there to write for.

Audre Lorde said “It (poetry) is a vital necessity of our existence. It forms the quality of the light within which we predicate our hopes and dreams toward survival and change, first made into language, then into idea, then into more tangible action. Poetry is the way we help give name to the nameless so it can be thought. The farthest horizons of our hopes and fears are cobbled by our poems, carved from the rock experiences of our daily lives.”

And I so say that is POETRY and the reason I write!

Friday, January 27, 2006

If

"If you cannot be told - You cannot be taught" MaZungu
This is a lesson I learnt in the company of 4 God-given, God-ordained brothers of mines. God bless that time - what a wonderful time. Life with these boys shared (with me) many amazing things, many friends, many lessons, many blessings, many mistakes and many triumphs and it is with these brothers that I learnt much about Zama Zungu and much about sharing, about integrity,about compromise, about commitment between friends and about peace that surpasses human understanding.

May the presence of God and the peace of the holy spirit be company to all 4 of my brothers.

Niyazazi niwobani!

Peace

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I am...


I am the red in blood, the shine in sun
The fullness of the moon, the curl of your smile

I am the truth in your honesty
Witty words waiting their freedom
And just as I am all this
I am also all that

I am the fire that burns
The lie that hurts
The voice of fear
The reason we’re here
Cursed as Friday 13th
Forgotten as the child within

Hold me anyway, for I need it
Love me all the way, for I’m here
Because bad is the good that keeps us apart
Good is the bad that holds us together

So have me as I am,
Altering not the bad as you celebrate the good
And when the sun falls on my face, let the honesty I have shared
Be the first to our everlasting.

MaZungu
19 Aug 05

I continue to LIVE!

So I finally put up a real picture of myself, guess I needed to get to a place where I own this woman's world enough to put my face on it...I am hoping to add more pics of my world during the course of next week - you will get a visual of what all this blah blah blah is all about.

I am very blessed to have a space where I can share my thoughts, my perspective and my experience. There is so much more going on than this space has yet revealed but as our relationship grows I will open more and more, to a point where you get to here sob stories even he he he

I have had a wonder-filled life, from the time I was old enough to call it that. I've learnt many lessons and met wonderful people, I've tried new things and failed a few. I've changed my mind and even my image but in all that, I continued to carry the awareness that all of it adds up to what I call MY LIFE.

It's my belief that we are born complete (enough) but that living becomes the way in which we grow into who we essentially are. Meaning to me, finding myself means discovering the expanse of Zama Zungu, growing into who I fully and essentially am. So the feminine queen I was in 2002 is still this butch-like chick I carry myself as today. The mistakes I made in year 2000 are counted together with the A's I obtained for my BCom exams in 2003...it's all who (what) I am and owning it is owning myself. I own every second, minute, hour, day and month of my 23 years, even the ones I'd be just fine if I forgot. And that belief, that conviction, that truth allows me to carry myself every where I go - whether it is in the boardroom with my MD and some of his board of Directors or whether it's in a party with people I have never met before. I carry ME! And that is why I love the experience of living ... blue mondays or funky fridays - this moment is my life!

I spent much of my teenagehood being a dreamer, mostly because I was trying to escape the reality that to me, did not measure up to how I had designed it in my head. And so I spent a lot of my life dreaming about life...in the process, I missed out on living. Blessedly for me, I woke up early enough to change course and try again because I realized that life (real life) has so much to offer, but it all begins when you start living. If today is here for just one day, how much time do I have to live it and if it's not much, how can I waste it. So I vowed to live today and to love it!

Now I am learning to play, laugh,seek, discover, learn, yearn, plan, dream,breath, connect...to do it all but to do it living. Because today is only a day! and if I miss it - I miss it all! And if this is the only life I know (of) for sure, why not live it!

So yes, I plan, I budget, I organise, I strategize and then I remember to "Plan all you must just remember that before, during and after all that planning – you must continue to live.”

And so today, I continue to LIVE!

Just sharing!

Peace

Zama

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Gratitude (The Poem - My freedom days)

I was not joking when I said yesterday was love making day…IT WAS!
I had the most wonderful evening, filled with incredible love, amazing company, good food, great shooters, hilarious movie and body tingling love making
(As in loooooveeeee making he he he)

We went on a double date with these beautiful friends of ours, was served by a wonderful waitress, tried blow jobs (shooters) for the first time –A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and went home to watch monster in-law – then sealed the evening with a second round of mind, body and soul loving …what an amazing time we had.

It’s sad how we wait for moments to pass before we can quantify them and value them for what they are worth. I don’t have my degree yet, I have not seen any of my published work, I have not been to Zambia, I have not driven a 6.5 second car and yet in this normality I call life, there are so many blessings, so many exhilarating moments, so many gifts that this too is my grand time. So I won’t wait for that Degree (Unisa is too slow), I won’t wait for that car (budget too low) to say thank God for the 2nd of August 1982 – I will say it now and I will say it LOUD.

THANK GOD FOR THE 2ND OF AUGUST 1982

Peace


MY FREEDOM DAYS!

If the stars were painted fresh every evening
And the moon opened wider every night
Would this life be better than now?

If names were chosen before parents even met
And children were frozen in the image of their maker
Would the future look brighter than it does?

I don’t imagine better days because I love life’s flight
I don’t anticipate sudden change because I live in every night.
So if change and imagination were out of the way
Would we look and learn to love these freedom days
Or would we create brand new reasons not to celebrate
; But to manipulate this awesome life.

- MaZungu
20 May 2005

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

YOU

It’s been love making weather for 2 days now…at some point you just have to comply! And so today is love making day for me…am not just referring to getting fresh, I’m talking about feeling, sharing and showing some body some good loving today. And in my case, a beautiful Sister named Jaz – (Name changed to protect identity he he he)

Jaz is a beautiful brown skin, brown eyed Sister who has been loving, encouraging, supporting and reviving this child called me for the past year and some good months! And it is because of that that YOU was born; my first and best love poem. Read and re-read every line, then you too will know that surely GOD LOVES ME!


You…

Your tenderness when your patient heart takes me in
Makes the doors of my heart swing open
It’s not that you have opened me
But the comfort of your smile and the sweetness of your heart
Have spoken me down to that place where I need not be afraid.

I wasn’t looking – no I wasn't hoping but you gave it to me anyway
I released my prisoned smile when you took that look at me
I realized my joyful soul, when you began to laugh with me
I would not have thought because I would not have guessed
That the sweetness of your simplicity could cause the goodness of my trinity
My Mind, my Heart and my Spirit to rise into yet another moment

You do not make me happy
Instead you remind me everyday that happiness rests in the pillars of my core
You remind me every day that joyfulness is the story of my soul

You tell me a story of simple laughs each time you smile
You simplify a gipsy puzzle every time you laugh
And somehow in that moment you call life
I find a miracle…

I thought love gave up on me
But that day when you loved me opened
And my truth oozed out of me in the tears that carried my fears
That night when you loved me to the moon
And filled me with you yang tenderness
‘Till I moaned my pleasure into a melody
I realized that love did not give up on me
But that I… gave up on me …when I gave up on love.

Surely God loves me
Because He stitches infinite patterns of love, life and laughs every time you’re near me.
Surely GOD LOVES ME.


MaZungu
> 11-10-04

Monday, January 23, 2006

Truth

There is no telling how the truth will come
There is no telling just what it will look
Or sound or feel like
But there is one thing the elders know
That truth, like death, is always on time
And there is not a force on earth, heaven or under
That could block the path of truth
Because it is when truth arrives
That we meet the fine face of freedom
And taste the bitter sweetness of tears
That every soul releases
Just before death.

28 September 2005
Zama “MaZungu” Zungu

Monday, January 16, 2006

Poetry is in good hands

Welcome to 2006, may you be filled with ernomouse gratitude for seeing the face of this year. I trust that you have resolved your issues with 2005 and if none, you were blessed.
It's been 2 weeks into the year and already I have tons to be grateful for...I'll refer a lot to gratitude as I have resolved for 2006 to be my year of gratitude! Beginning with...

Today I was blessed with a copy of Lebo Mashile’s Ribbon of Rhythm …what took me so long…I know.
Going through it left me so satisfied that if Poetry was a Country, I would insist that she be the President. To rephrase it…her work makes me say…
POETRY IS IN GOOD HANDS!

Contemporary poetry has faced its fair share of scrutiny and doubt in the heavy circles of the know-it-all, with comments that contemporary poetry compromises on artistry in order to fit into nowawadays. These comments aroused my interest in poetry even more but on the other hand left me wondering, just why we sometimes have the tendency to own parts of nature that was never created for ownership but rather to strike fellowship between humanity, God and nature. Poetry is not mines to hold with fearful hands against all my children, in the scare that they will destroy it. Poetry is not mines to snatch away from my Grandmothers hands in the fear that she will dull it. Poetry is a spirit with a life and a purpose of her own, owning her…is grieving her.

So I am blessed to be born in the times of Poetry through Lebo Mashile and I look forward to all lessons the spirit of Poetry has been sent to share.

May this year be a year of gratitude.

In all its splendor, with its brightness and its darkness…thank God for 2005

Peace!