Diswomansworld

With your eyes open, your mouth closed, your ears attentive and your heart reflective - welcome to this woman's world!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

What If?

"Define yourself, for yourself, or you will crushed into other peoples fantasy of you and eaten alive" Audre Lorde

These are the words (roughly) of the poet,lesbian, activist and sister named Audre Lorde. They came into my head when I couldn't define myself because I was afraid of what other people will think of me...after a bit of poetic confession, I realized that it wan't the people's perception of me that scared me the most, it was my own. The poem I wrote from that introspection helped me realize that even if what and who I am was celebrated, if it was encouraged, I would still have a problem with it because my biggest problem is not what you think of me...my biggest problem is what I think of myself. And so I learnt to DEFINE MYSELF, FOR MYSELF OR I WILL BE CRUSHED INTO MY FANTASIES OF WHO I AM AND EATEN ALIVE!

This poem was introspection for me and it is through this poem that I was able to face myself for who I really am...good and bad. I thank God for poetry because since the day I discovered word, I have been discovering myself.


Read: What if
What if loving another woman was celebrated
with songs and dance around rich African flames
where tales of my people are told.

What if following desire
was sang about ‘round traditional fires
with Mothers filled with pride
as Africans rose from boys to men.

Would my beads be crafted in colours that signified the love I live
Would the making of isishweshwe be in beautiful patterns of my kind
the kind that lives to love out loud.

What if streets were named after those that lived their lives to its fullest
What if their names were printed on the finest yatch
And lit up bright as everyone watched

Would I join the Durban Pride March
In celebration of these beautiful people
Would I love outside social parameters and
live defined by obvious diameters

If rain fell as melted gold and praises were sent up to God
With grateful hearts – none of them cold
And open hands for us to hold

Would my walk be carved like Art and
would I live with an open heart
Would I smile at the sound of them calling
As they define me a lesbian-light

If a holiday was declared and
much respect was reclaimed
If men marches were conducted and
tall towers were constructed
To commemorate the Gay-Kingdom-come

Would my confusion and muted confessions
be the lyrics to our African anthem
Would my expressions of love and female affection
be the colours of my African Nation
Or would I still find a brand new reason
to hold myself bound from the greatest love I’ve found

MaZungu
07 June 2005

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Be Free


Caged bird be free
Caged bird thats me

Who put those bars around you
Who summoned you to sit
Who placed your dreams in a frame
Like memories of the dead

Caged bird be free
Caged bird thats me

Potential they say you've got
Essential for any flight
But why mould your wings with wax
avoiding to reach your max

For a life of fortune or a life a fame
Whatever you grab will be your game
Instead of fantasies or dreams (you call them)
Let yourself loose, set yourself free
Caged bird be free
Caged bird thats me

Dreamers are citizens in their own minds
Until they strip off all fear's bind
To find a song a poem or dance
That will be enough to give them a chance

Caged bird be free
…Caged bird thats me

MaZungu
30 April 2004

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I am yours

When all my hopes and dreams
Have been betrayed
I stand before you
My hands are empty

I am yours
If you are mine

When I fall and stumble
Flat on my face
When I’m ashamed and humbled
In disgrace

I am yours
If you are mine

When voices call me
To question my faith
When misperception
Taints my love with hate

I m yours
If you are mine

When time decides
It won’t stop for me
When the hawks and vultures
Are circling

I am yours
If you are mine

© 2001 Tracy Chapman – From the 2002 – Let it rain album


These are the lyrics to Tracy Chapmans "I am yours", a beautifully simple and elegantly expressed art of human emotion. I blogged it because to me, it is POETRY. I love music and I love poetry, so when music meets poetry - I find heaven. This is a beautiful song...I hope you will bless your ears, your mind and your soul with it some time.

Peace!

We are loved!

Starting today, I will count my blessings and cast my worries aside
Because today is a song played anew and my spirit, a listening ear
So I will hear the love and beauty of God in every melody in every sound
I will discover the purpose for my life in every ballad in every lullaby
Because this song was written with me in mind
that I may feel and trust in the everlasting love, ever-peaceful presence
and ever-flowing grace of the one who called me to life!

Beginning today, I will fill my prayers with THANK YOU‘S
My mind with appreciation
And my heart with gratitude for he has done great things
And he has done them because he counted me worthy of love
Worthy of peace
Worthy of forgiveness
Worthy of life and life abundantly
No matter how I have been, over all I thought I knew
There has always been a Spirit above all spirits that breaths me back to life every single day
No matter what I heard, what I believed
He never left me, never gave up on me
And if the maker deems me worthy, how can I figure otherwise

I am not perfect, never will be but if the stars spot beautifully every night
And the ocean leaps on these very grounds
If my breath finds my body every morning
And a smile curls around my face every now and then
Then surely, certainly someone is on my side
Definetly there is a Spirit that holds us all in one hand
And counts us all as his own

I’m not religious, I’m not a saint
But 23 years of living has proven without a shadow of doubt
That my life has survived and prospered
not by might nor by power but by grace
and it is that grace that brings me back to life
every time I die
in the pain of a broken heart
in the tears of deep depression
in hopelessness and faithlessness
his grace brings me back to life
every single time I die
I live because he loves me
Mya I always remember, always know that
He stitches infinite patterns of life, love and laughs every time I breath

In and around every one of us
Without fail and without measurements
Without favorites and without prejudice
God loves us and reveals that love in every single way

We are loved!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I am a believer!

I am a believer
in life and its pattern-less course
in love and its never-made promise
in people and their misunderstood minds
in possibilities and the infinite find

It is because I am a believer that humanity has captured my soul
it is because I am a believer that poetry has become my song
it is only because I am a believer that I stand in the firm grounds of an unknown foundation
living life till tomorrow when God's next move will unfold.

I believe in more possibilities than 23 years of life has seen
I believe in people than people so far have been
I believe in me than today and yesterday encourages me to
and I will believe in all things till my breath catches its last second of life.

I am a believer!